Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I could fuck to npr.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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