I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize