HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
