So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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