Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
