Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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