I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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