perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
