ugly people sure do ruin things
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
