idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
