R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
