Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
