Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize