if you like me you must not know who I am
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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