Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
