can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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