Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
