So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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