ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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