I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
