What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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