Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
