Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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