If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize