If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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