We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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