Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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