DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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