At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
