I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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