theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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