In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
