just tell him i said nine months
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
