My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
