I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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