he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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