yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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