You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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