check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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