Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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