have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
