Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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