Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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