Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize