is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
