So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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