Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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