Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
