I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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