the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
