just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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