I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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