Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
