You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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