I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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