I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
