listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
