I think I am morally bankrupt
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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