no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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