sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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