Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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