the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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