You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
