my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
