Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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