The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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