We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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