he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
