No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize